I am feeling a little down today. Yesterday I went to a celebration of life for one of my red hat sisters. She passed a week ago with her battle with cancer. Such a sad day. She was such an amazing women. I knew her through the red hat society. But you know didn’t know all of her. Found out yesterday that she had volunteered for so many different organizations. she had been awarded certificates for her volunteer work. That one I did know about as it was something that had happen while I knew her. She has an amazing family and friends unit that came out to celebrate her life yesterday. Beautiful ceremony for such a beautiful lady.
Illness. It effects all of us. It may be yourself. Or it is a family member, a close friend or just an acquaintance. I have a few that I know who are battling against the unknown as they go through life. There may also be others in my life that I do not know that they are battling anything. Keep their lives private on that respect. Do not want to burden others with what may be ailing them. There are far more out there then what you know.
I myself am battling the unknown. Everyday is a different challenge for me. Some days I will be on the top of the ball. My fibro will be giving me a good day. Or another day my osteo arthritis will tell me that I should not be doing what I am doing. Some days my sjogrens will have me so dry I need to be with water all the time and my skin just itches to no end. Where my nails get so brittle and break off. Some days I can’t even get up off the couch as I am so tired to the point of exhaustion. When it is cold raynards will show and my fingers turn blue. Acid reflux will burst up on my somedays and my ulcers will acted up. The days I am so brain fogged I can’t seem to concentrate on anything. I get ditzy. Sometimes to the point of having vertigo. I have days where I am so sick to my stomach that I will pass out from the pain. Throw up and not even know I am doing it. I had passed out once in the bathroom in the middle of the night. When I fell I cut the skin on my head. It took a few minutes for hubby to wake me up. From there I headed to the hospital to get stitches and a scan of my head to make sure I didn’t do any more damage.. my life is just one roller coaster. From feeling great to being so down and out I don’t know where I am. Just depends on the day.
Then there are the good days. The days where I just get myself out of bed and with a little pain will be up dancing in the livingroom to the beat of my own drum. Those days are the days I look for. The days I take to try to do some adventure. It may not be the big adventures that you think, but something that will give me some joy in life. It may be a walk along the Dyke. Or a drive someplace. Or being more adventuress and doing something I love to do, but can’t do when my bod is telling me no. Or there is my outings with friends. Where I can laugh and have a good time. Love to get out and enjoy being with girlfriends. They make me laugh. Sometimes laugh until my sides hurt. I love those days.
In a few days I go for another mammogram. Six months ago they saw a spot. Did more tests and decided it was a fat pocket and not cancer. But now six months later I have to go get another to make sure that nothing has developed. A worry for me. I also have a lump on my thyroid. They tested it a couple of years ago and it is time to have that checked out again. Always with the tests. Always pray that it is nothing, but there is always the worry.
My battles may not be yours but I do have battles. I don’t talk about them much as I figure no one wants to hear about my woes. So my comment when someone is asking how I am doing is i am doing fine. Things are great and leave it at that. I talk about my adventures big and small. Sounds so much better then I am fine.
On top of that there is hubby. I know I don’t talk much about him as he doesn’t like being talked about of social media. Some days I complain profusely about him. Other days well I do like having him around. He retired last year. It will be almost a year now he has been under foot. He has his woes as well. He is enjoying his retirement. But there have been setbacks with him as well. Things to do with his diabetics. Cause a few ups and downs with him as well, which work into being more ups and downs for me.
You see we all have set backs in some way or another. Some are triumphing and others are fighting on. I know two ladies who have battled cancer and have since rang the bell to say their treatments are done for now. Others who have rung the bell once even twice and are now in the throngs of battling again. I know ladies who right now are still battling cancer. I have one friend who has just been moved to hospice to live her last few months.
It isn’t just cancer that some of my friends are battling. There are other illnesses that have been put on them that make it hard for them to go through their days without having pain. Some where they are not able to walk anymore. Others who have had bionic parts added in hopes that they will do better in future days.
Then on top of that you have friends who do not say anything about what is ailing them. They go through life with the I am fine and keep it to them selves. Then all of a sudden you hear that they are very ill and you knew nothing about it. I know some like to be private about their lives, but I don’t like those kind of surprises when it finally comes out.
I guess in one way or another we are all battling something. Just some are more vocal about it then others. Getting old is suppose to be our golden years. A time when we can enjoy ourselves like teenagers, but have the money to do it now. Well some of us have the money to do it. Others are living from cpp to cpp and hoping they can make it to the end of the month when another check comes in. To me I want to be young again. Well just so I am able to do the things I want to do and not worry that I may hurt myself doing it. Also the aches and pains will not be there.
I can still do some of the things I want to do. So for now I play the game of coulda shoulda before I can’t anymore. That is why I get out and adventure. I have a list of things I want to do. Things I could have done when I was younger, but was just too chicken to do. I am still chicken to do some of these things and I have to select good days to do them or they won’t get done. So I am trying to do some of the things I said why didn’t I do when I was younger. The list is getting smaller and some of them need funds to do so may not get done. But I am going to go to my grave knowing I did these things instead of leaving them and saying why didn’t I do that.
I know I don’t give advice on things. But I will say this. Before it is too late. Before something happens that you can not control. Before illness May strike you. Get out and do the things you love to do. Get out and do the things you wanted to do. If you don’t. When you get older and more feeble every day you are going to regret that you didn’t do those things that you thought you should do. Live a life that is full. Not just thinking you can do it later. Still put away the funds for retirement, but don’t work your finger to the bone to make it happen. Enjoy your life. You only have it once and then in a blink of an eye it is gone.
Well not really an adventure in this writing. So until next time. Talk to you later