Two days left

Well you wondering. Two days. What is two days? Well for me it is two days of freedom yet. For hubby it is two more days of work and then he is retired. Oh god help me!

I have been retired for five years now. I have my life of seeing girlfriends. Going to red hat events. Taking beautiful walks on my own with my pooches. Last but not least I do allot of crafting in my women cave.

For the other half he so far has told me that he is going to follow me around like a puppy. Be underfoot and always in my space. Is he really going to do that? Well I don’t know. I think is he going to drive me to everything I do and sit and wait for me to get done. Then we can spend time together. I sit in a restaurant with my girlfriends is he going to sit at another table and watch me. Will I ever have the time to myself again.

On top of that there is lunchtime. Something I don’t do. Have never done. That Is make a meal for lunch. If I am hungry I just grab a snack and go about my day. The thing is he has to eat three meals a day. Keeps his diabetes in check. Well I don’t want to give up my day to stop and make a meal that I am not going to eat. If I eat this meal with him I am going to end up being a two ton tessie again. The other thing is if I don’t make a meal he is going to want to go out at lunch time and grab something to eat. Which also means I have to go along to get this meal. Just so I go in and pick it up as he won’t get out of the car to get anything. Then after we have had something to eat we will go for a drive just to get out of the house.

You know maybe I don’t want to go. If I say why he says to pay and keep him company. Like I said god help me!

Now another thought. I go to conventions to have some me time. Have a little fun with my girlfriends. He has mentioned that he will come along with me. So there goes my fun with girlfriends.

Things I have heard over the past six months. Let’s buy a boat and we can be out on the water all day. Hmm he doesn’t even like being out in the sun that much. He has no interest in fishing. So that would be out. Next I hear well we can buy a motor home. Just a small one and travel across the country. We have all the time in the world to just keep driving. Yeah right I can stay at home and cook and clean as well as in the van and cook and clean while he enjoys himself and just drives. Hmm being in a closed area together twenty four hours a day 7 days a week.

A few years ago he bought a bike. He had planned that we where going to travel around the country on that. Well I did try that. Just a short ride. We went to the states and drove to Mount Rushmore and back. I did enjoy it but my butt, back and legs did not. By the time we got home I could not get off the bike. He had to get off first and then help me move to try and get off. It wasn’t a pretty sight. He thought we would do more of those trips but my bode will not take it anymore. I did have good intentions of doing, but with the osteoarthritis kicking in big time I don’t think I could make it around the block.

So now he is doing a few updates on the bike and plans to do a little riding. Maybe he will take a ride on his own, but he keeps saying he is going to get me back on. Well time will tell what will happen.

I do love my hubby, but he drives me nuts. I like my quiet time. I like my crafting time and I like being out with my girlfriends. I like my me time. I am a totally different person when I am on my own then when I am with him. I think most of us are. You act differently when you don’t have the other half around. for some reason I feel more freely then when I am with hubby.

I talk more. Defiantly do talk. Not much, but I do talk. Something I don’t do around hubby. I am very quiet around him as if I say something I feel like I have said something wrong. I smile more I am having fun. Not obligated to be somewhere with someone and make sure that they are okay. Does that make sense. Well I think so. I am just a totally different person. My son came with me a couple of times to a couple of conventions. I felt that I could show my other side to him. I walked out of the bathroom in a costume I was wearing for the event. He looked and said wow mom! He did his own thing and I did mine. It was a fun to go with him.

Well you think I shocked my son when I came out in that. Yes that was the costume I was wearing. It was Las Vegas themed so I did it Las Vegas style. I don’t think I looked like any of the show girls, but I did get allot of comments on my costume. This was one of my first conventions. I have had so many more fun times over the past 8 years. I want to keep having this kind of fun for as long as I can. Just my bode will tell me that. I am getting more problems showing up all the time. Little by little I am loosing myself to someone else.

More and more aches and pains are showing up. I have fallen down a couple of times. I get ditzy and just have to lay down and sleep. But through all this I keep going and I want to keep going. I don’t want to be held back as I feel I can’t do something around someone. Well I guess time will tell how I live my life and who will be with me constantly or not. I just don’t want to go back to the quiet scared person I was a few years ago. Thinking should I do that or not. What would anybody think.

Like I said time will tell. We are going into a new stage in our lives and I sure as heck do not hope that we are going to think about killing each other. Just a thought it won’t happen. Don’t take me seriously on that. I am just venting. money will go down now. As he does not have a paycheque anymore. Just pension and government pension. That is going to put a damper on things. I like to spend money and so does he. So now have to pull in the purse strings. Just a few things to do on the house. A new roof and eves troughs and then we will see where we are and what we can do or not do. I just hope that my playing can still be done and that he will finds some sort of playing for himself that isn’t going to cost an arm and a leg for both of us.

Well a little venting there today. The days get closer and closer to see how things are going to go.

So on another note. I finally have my smile back. Had written about my dental experience over the last four months. This has finally finished. Had some teeth pulled and have them now replaces with new teeth. I finally look whole again. No more vampire teeth.. it looks like I have had a few wrinkles taken away too. Bonus!

I am ready for my closeup now. My smile is back. The HOTY is back in the room. Ha! Just kidding.

Well that is about it for now. So talk to you next time. Until my next adventure.

One thought on “Two days left

  1. Love your story and Brenda you are looking fabulous! Love your Vegas outfit! You are much braver than i! Take care and enjoy whatever comes around! You can handle it! Hugs my friend!

    Like

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