June 30th coming up. Gonna be another day where i don’t hear anything. I gave up years ago. I know, to allot of you it is just another day. To me it was the biggest day in my life. When I was way younger then what I am now. I always looked forward to this day. To the day that I could be the centre of attention. To wear the beautiful dress and take a walk to my new life.
Oh hell what was I thinking? Yeah I know I was young. Real young and it is the only thing I really wanted in my life. I never thought about the afterwards and the things that would happen afterwards. I just wanted to have that day.
Well it did happen and it happened on June 30th. Now 40 years ago. Or well it will be tomorrow. 40 years. If I knew what I knew then would I have done it? Well maybe. Yeah that is just a maybe. I have lived a life. If was a good life. Allot of down on my part. Or so it seems to me. I had allot of down. A few good things but yes allot of downs.
I am a strong person, but there are times I am a sap. Allot of times I am a sap. If something is going round and round with the same idiotic thing I turn into a sap. Tonight was one of those nights. A little thing to work out. Simple right? Not!!! Four hours later and maybe it is working. Or not. He will find out at work on Tuesday. So now I think I just should not have done something that I thought would help it in the first place and then the aggravation of four hours would have not happened. Me feeling like I have been dragged through the shit hole of life.
Life can go along so great and then one little thing and I am a sap again. A strong person I am but I can be brought down to a sap in no time flat.
So now tomorrow I have spent 40 years of being this sap.
Well, this morning I got the comment. I will wish you an anniversary today cause tomorrow I won’t remember. Wow! He actually remembered. A day early or maybe it was a year late and he was wishing for last year or the year before. Hey, you never know with him. He told me 40 years ago he was not a sappy person. Well I was and it did not rub off on him at all.
I was rambling around in my closet yesterday. Looking for something. One of my slippers. A nice pair of bear paw slippers. I could find one but not the other. I think the dog got hold of it and has hurried it someplace. Anyways in my searching I came across plastic way in the back of the closet. My wedding dress is still back there. I thought I got rid of it many years ago. Nope it is still there. Wrapped in plastic. It had been cleaned after the wedding and then 25 years latter had to be cleaned a second time. We had a flood in a condo we lived in and the packaging got wet. So the restoration company had it cleaned and put it in plastic. I really thought I had gotten rid of it. I guess in the back of my mind it was still the biggest day in my life and am keeping it as a memory. Sappy I am! Gee you think I would ever loose enough weight to be able to fit back into it? That dress made me look so pretty. Na! Not gonna happen.
So now I wonder how many others save their memories like this sap. I ask myself why I keep that dress. I will never be able to wear it again.
Now if I can ever find that other slipper. That might be a miracle. The dog seems to have some great hiding places. It may never be found again. It looks like one of his play toys. I put the other one on and walked around the house with it. I was attacked over and over again. Moving target.
Talking about this dress and not getting rid of it. I know it will never happen while I am alive. It is something I will keep forever. After 40 years it may not be in any good shape anymore. Some day I may have to take it out of its wrapping and take a look. Look at it once in awhile and sigh. Which now leads onto another discovery by me. I was around value village the other day and came across a beautiful wedding dress. Off the shoulder lace up the back and large flowy skirt. And sash to go over the shoulder. Beautiful! I just pulled it off the rack and stared at it. What story was behind this dress being in a thrift store. A marriage gone bad? A marriage that didn’t happen at all? Or someone who is not sappy and just wore it for the day and did not want it anymore. Might have been a grad dress.It was a beautiful dress and I decided then and there I was going to rescue it. I have no idea what I was going to do with a wedding dress, but for some reason I had to have it. Bonus points it fit me.
So now my rescue is sitting in my closet. I have a mind to dye it to the colour of purple. Well, what if I ruin it trying to colour it? I will have use out of it if I dye it purple. I can wear it a couple of times to events I go to. For now though it sits in my closet. Yes I bought the dye for it and will give it a colouring. But for now I will admire it. I do have a place I can wear it in the near future so I won’t be able to admire it very long before I give it a shade of purple.
Well wish this sappy lady good luck. Talk to you next time
The picture does not show how pretty it is, but I fell in love with it.