How have I ever lived my life so far without this wonderful thing. Girlfriends! The most beautiful word in the world. Girlfriends! Oh I love the sound of that.
I never thought I would have anyone I could sit down and just chat with. Just sit and talk about anything. Feel comfortable with and just be myself. I don’t say much yet, but I just love being together with them.
I went out the other day and had the most beautiful day I have ever had in so long. There was no agenda. There was no idea what we where really going to do. Well a little was planned, but we added to it as the day went by. We just went out for the day. Spontaneous happiness and friendship.
When I was younger I had a gaggle of girlfriends. Well they where a group from high school. They all went out everywhere whenever they could, but I lived out of town and no way to get into town so only saw them when I was at school. I always felt that I was a third wing around with them though. I would hang with them, but their conversations always came down to boys and what they where going to do on the weekend. I did get to a couple of parties they had thrown, but after a bit things went sideways and never really heard much more from them. One gossiped to another and soon was told I was not included in their weekend fun as I was trying to steel a boyfriend. I still hung out with them at school but just did not feel as though I was welcomed much. They had their fun and I faded into the background.
Next I met a boy at school in my last year of high school. From there most of my time was with this boy. This lead to less with the gaggle of girls I hung out with. Eventually leading to not really hanging with the girls group much anymore. When high school was finished I was invited to a couple of weddings of these girls but never really heard from them otherwise. I have no idea about anyone or anything of what happened to their lives.
My life turned to my own life with this boy whom I married and made a life of our own. Most of our time was with family. I never heard from any of those girls again. Years later I have connected with one of the girls through Facebook. We chatted a bit but it isn’t the same.
My life for the next 30 years was very hard to make any new friends. Work would take us to other places to live. We moved every three years to a different place. So if I ever did make a friend with someone we would just be moving and loosing contact with this person. Or the other way and this person would move and I was devastated. I cried when she moved. She was someone to chat with besides my husband. She gave me comfort and a hug every now and then I needed when I was down.
I envied seeing ladies together chatting over a meal as I walked the malls or sat in a restaurant by myself while hubby was out of town. If only to have someone to chat with. I could go see my sisters, but they had lives of their own and no time for a little sis. Never had transportation as it went with hubby to work.
So I kinda just closed myself off. I went to work at whatever I could find in a place where we where living. There was always a place to be a cashier of some kind. I would talk with my co workers, but never really wanted to get too close as they already had their own lives and friends and I would just be another third wheel if they invited me out. Who would really want to have me around? That was always the question in the back of my mind. So I did my job and went home afterwards to tend to my chores at home. Not going out anywhere except the mall to wander and shop on my own. A big mistake in itself. I bought and bought. Stuff I did not need and a credit card hurt allot for that. So after getting it paid off I stayed away from that temptation. Shopping can be addictive if you are lonely. I had no place to wear these things as we never went out, but they where so pretty.
There was 30 years of being closed off from anyone to talk to. Well besides my hubby, but if I chat to him about something he usually does not want to hear what I had on my mind. Just women stuff. Said I should get some help someplace once cause all I was doing was crying and feeling sorry for myself.
I tried volunteering to get to know someone. But with the moving that never lasted long. After a bit our son came along and that filled my time. Still no girlfriends though. Just me and my growing young man. Eventually he was a grown man and a life of his own. Friends he would hang with and leave his mum behind. So on my own I am again to look forward to life with my hubby again.
I took a chance and joined a women’s group. A world wide group. It took a big chance for me to do that. So glad that I did.
Right now I notice I am back in the shopping mood. All for a different reason. I check myself now so I don’t go overboard again, but I love to shop again, all for a different reason though. I have girlfriends. I still feel uncomfortable sometimes. Should I be having this fun? Is something gonna happen that all will break down and I will be on my own again. Well I took the chance and I will take it as long as I can. I may be hurt at sometime or this may go on forever till the end of my time. I love it! Oh gosh this is taking me to tears right now, but I am going to keep writing.
So yesterday I had a feeling I have never had before. We where planning to go to a sale that was going on in Langley. Yeah shopping! I know I have enough of this red hat stuff and that is what the sale is, but I go along just to see what is for sale.
We meet up at our favourite meeting place. Central and easy for some of us to park and others to just come off the highway to pick us up. Four of us meet up and hop in one car to go on an adventure. Well to some not an adventure but a purpose. To travel together and go to a sale.
Anyways this travel to the sale led to other adventures for the day. As we traveled in the car other places where mentioned. Other thoughts of something else we could do to extend the day. Still no agenda, but just out with like minded people.
We stopped at the red hat yard sale first. Checked out all the goodies for sale. Other ladies said hi and chatted along with us. We caught up on gossip and heard stories of other adventures. Yes we bought a couple of things. I ended with another beautiful hat. While others collected a little bit of nick knack here and there.
After a drink and a couple of snack that where on a table to sample we headed on our way. We headed to Fort Langley that is close by to see an art display that is up for the day. We are a little early so we wander the farmers market to check out the local fare. From fruit and veggies to crafts and creams. An abundance of items to look at and admire. Maybe a little shopping as well while we wander through. I check out all the crafts that are for sale and say I could put my mind to it and do something like that. Fun to check out what other people make.
The art event is now opened so we wander over to there. Looking in store windows as we walk down the street. We wait for a train to rumble through the village. Then we cross the tracks and go to the art event. Very talented people that do their paintings. Beautiful art work. There is some is water colour, some are pencil art and a few oils. Very nice.
Our last stop is the pub for a bite to eat. The four of us sit down on the patio and enjoy our lunch. We chat away and have a great time. Giggles galore and so much fun. All about anything and everything. As I sit on the patio and think back over my years. At one time I would have been walking down the sidewalk and watching these four ladies with envy. On how they all are together and having the time of their lives just chatting away. Talking with each other and enjoying each other’s company. A diverse group of ladies with different ideals. They blend together to enjoy the day.
How times can change in a blink of an eye. From loneliness and sadness to this friendship and love. I never thought that I would ever see this in my life again. I took a chance and opened myself up to this new world. It is still a process for me, but I am working on it as much as I can. So many years it is hard to break out of, but I love this new life that includes girlfriends.
Girlfriends. I love that word. I love these ladies, plus the so many more I am also a girlfriend with. They have excepted me in for who I am. No being a pretend to make them think I am like them. I am myself the goof, the quiet one and sometimes a little bit of a jokester, but mostly the quiet one as I am still afraid that I may say something wrong and loose this precious gift. Girlfriends all different and in some ways the same. All needing that friendship and a place we can go if we are down. Girlfriends I thank you so much for this beautiful gift.