I am women hear me roar

I had said this the other day on Facebook. Well it was a roar. Just not the one you would be thinking. You see I stepped into the shower and instead of picking my feet up enough I stubbed my toe on the ledge. Yep! That made me roar alright. Well I got my laugh for the day anyways. Everyone thought I had done something great and was going to congratulate me on it. Then they red the rest of my statement. Then they had to laugh instead and hoped that I didn’t hurt my self too badly. You know I am getting older and little accidents may lead to something more serious.

In my childhood I hoped to roar at something in my lifetime. Be something or have my name known for doing something in my life. I sit here now and say well that certainly didn’t happen. Well in a way I did do things they just don’t seem to me as being the something great I always thought I would do. Now don’t get me wrong I am happy with my life. On some degree, but in other degrees there is always something I thought I could have done better. I just never did.

When your a child and adults ask you. What are you going to be when you grow up. Oh I had ideals of things. Sound kinda silly and all now, but you know I wanted to fly. Not in a plane or anything like that, but just to be able to take off like supergirl.

Not with a cape or wings or anything, just raise my arms and soar into the sky. Fly about the clouds and watch the world below. Stand on rooftops and look down at the world below. I would lay on the grass on the farm and just look up at the sky and say well maybe.

Well did I soar. In some ways I have. I can get into a plane and fly to new destinations and enjoy a vacation. Or flying to new destinations to visit with Red hat society sisters. To be above the clouds and watch the land below.

I soar in my life as well. I believe though I am not the famous person I wanted to be when I was young. I am famous to myself. I made It to an older age soaring at what life has to bring me.

Closer to home I can fly down the highway in my Volkswagen Beetle to destinations unknown. The freedom to go where I want when I want. My beetle is my plane. Small and sporty for me that’s will head me down the highway.

Now at one time I didn’t have a car. We where just a one car family. Hubby drove everywhere I’ve went. I always had to wait for him to get home from work before I could go anywhere. Unless I wanted to walk to get things that where needed for the house. When we first where married he worked out of town so yes I did allot of walking. He was only home on the weekends. Made for a difficult time for me. I did what I did to get where I needed to go.

As life went on for us we finally became a two car family. It took years for it to happen . I never was without before but now that I have I really do not want to go back to a one car family. I love this freedom to go when I want to.

So for flying I will fly down many roads to destinations unknown or known In my beetle.

Another childhood ideal I had was to be able to dress so fine and be out and about. One year for Christmas I got a dress up set. It had high heals, a stole, a crown and a dress. Maybe I thought I could be a model. I know very long, long shot for me. These ladies where glamorous. With their long hair and beautiful dresses they wore. I would never fit into that category at all. I have very low self esteem about myself through my childhood, but I always wished I could have the confidence to be able to stand tall and look so beautiful in glamorous gowns.

I had a chance to model for someone once. I was just out of high school and working at a photo shop. A photographer came in and he asked me if I would like to do a few shot to test out a camera he was going to buy. It was in the shop so there was no harm as others where around. I did the shots and these shots were shown to a store in town that uses ladies to model their clothes for sale. I loved the idea, but my mother said I had to quit now. I was not going to work as a model or in the camera shop anymore. So the first job I had for only a few months I had to not go back to because I was told it was not for a young lady like me to work at .I was devastated. I liked that job.

You know, come to think of it now. I do go out in glamorous cloths. Dressed to the hilt I have a couple of beautiful dresses I have worn a few times to red hat events. The jewelry is costume but gives off the bling. So in my older age I have gotten the glamour. Not as a model being famous but as something I do love to do. Get dressed up and go and play.

Another childhood ideal I had. I wanted to be married. What I wanted was that wedding. I never thought of the years after that wedding I just wanted the wedding. The glamorous day where you where the centre of attention wearing the white dress. Coming down the isle while everyone watch you and you only. This ideal was from a very early age. The church was across the highway from us. I would sneak over to the church to watch weddings going on. I would go up in the balcony and sit in the pews up there. Watch the wedding from beginning to end. The love those two had at the front of the church standing in front of the minister taking their vows. Coming out of the church afterwards and having confetti thrown at them. Getting in the decorated car and going off honking their horns.

I did that many a time until I was caught once. I then sat in the front hall to watch them through our front upstairs window come out of the church afterwards. Going off in theirs cars to someplace unknown to me. I would put on my wedding attire and walk down the sidewalk around our house. Pretending that it was me having that marvellous day.

Years later I had my day in the church with all the fixings. The beautiful gown that still is wrapped in my closet for safe keeping. I do not know why I keep it, but I do. Still thinking little did I know that this wedding was not the end of my life. I had more life to live after this.

Next year we will reach another decade together.ups and downs but we are making it.

So now as I look back I have all my ideals of what I wanted to be when I grew up. They may have taken longer then some, but they are there. Not in the way that you would think. Not in the famous way as some do hope, but in the way that I can see I have accomplished.

I fly in my life. I live it to my best. Sometimes I am on the ground but others I can soar. I do get to go out dressed in my finest. It may be for a red hat event, but it is me enjoying myself. The first was i had my wedding, which lead to something I never thought of as a child. Came a beautiful family that gave me ups and downs. Through my life. I now look for more ups and downs and definitely more adventure to come. Well and hey I still might be famous some day . May be in my old age cause I sure as heck am not old yet. I have more life in this middle aged body to go and play.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s