A little change of space. No red hatting, but a little whining.

Yesterday was so much fun. Out for the morning and afternoon playing pirate and giggling with my girlfriends. Isn’t that a great word. Girlfriends, something I have not had since I was in high school. Gosh many moons ago. Yeah I am talking many moons.

Today a total turn around. Had to be up early. Way too early for my eyelids. Way too early for the birds. It was still dark outside. Who really wants to get up at this ungodly hour. Can you tell I am not a morning person. That’s right I am not. I like sitting up at night. The tv booming away in the background and I am crocheting away. Watching part time to what is going on. Now if it was a good mushy movie I would have probably been watching more and crocheting less. Well last night all things had to come to an end early. I had to go to bed so I could rustle myself out of bed in the morning. Did I just say rustle. More like roll out very, very slowly back and forth and finally put my feet on the floor. Well that is my first whine of the day.

The reason for an early morning up is a dang doc appointment in new westminster. In August I had this great appointment. Time was 2 in the afternoon. When I usually make my appointments. At least it is not an ungodly hour of nine in the morning. Why am I up before the sun comes out. Well it takes at least one and a half hours to get there. That is on a good day. One abad day it could take anywhere from 3 hours and on to get to New West. Depending on traffic and construction and sometimes idiot drivers. Why did I say that. I could be one of those idiot drivers. That all depends on how I am feeling for the day. As you can tell it is not a great feeling day. Getting up early makes for my body not agreeing with the rest of me.

First thing with my body not agreeing with me. For the past week Ménières has been showing its ugly head. Did I say head. Yep that is where it bothers me. In my lump of a head. Let me give you a little run down on what it sometimes feels like. Although I will describe that it feels like to me it will not feel the same to someone else. Ménière is described as a type of vertigo. Some days can be worse where you are not able to stand at all. I had a full blown vertigo attach a couple of times. You just can not stand. The world is going around, but you are standing still. Well at least your eyes are going around. You will be throwing up from motion sickness. You walk (if you can even walk) like a drunken sailor on leave. It is really not a pretty sight. I was out with the girls that day when I had a full blown attack. I was so glad they were there or I would never had been able to get home. Let alone have the help I needed. Once they got me home and hubby helped me to bed. I slept for so long. When I woke up I was still a little ditzy but at least I could walk around. Took a couple more days to get normal again. Well as normal as I can be. So now when the Ménières shows it signs again. I am a ditzy person. What it feels like to me is there is a loose screw in my head. See I told you I was made of nuts and bolts. Anyways when I turn my head it sounds like something is knocking in my head. What it is though is my eyes still moving while I am not. It is the ringing in my ears that gets a little louder. So your having a ringing and then you turn your head or move your eyes to look at something and you start hearing a ting, ting, ting in your head. Along with the ditzy it is not a fun time. I have to be as happy as I can about this. The happy is that it does not go into a full blown vertigo attack again. It does slow me down when this is going on. You have to be carful of movement of your head or you just might end up on the floor. Well at least it is subsiding now and just going back to my tininitus, but still getting the ting, ting, ting periodically.

So back to today. Drive into New West and was thinking this is going to be a long drive. Not too bad for morning traffic into the city. Construction yes and every light seemed to be red. I was going to be late. Hate being late. Don’t mind being a bit late but allot. That just throws everything out. Finally get to the street to get to the office. Oh I so hope that parking lot is not full. Hmm more construction just two blocks from the building. They are letting traffic go the other way. Come on I got an appointment to get to. Finally I get to the parking lot. Yes the lot has spots. It is a little after nine now. Now to get inside pay for the parking. Great another line up. Am I ever going to get where I need to be. Finally up stairs. A little late. It throws me all off. Not to be where I want to be on time. Would have been so much better is they had not cancelled my appointment and put me in at this hour of the morning.

Appointment time. I see the nurse first. Blood pressure good, height I am down another quarter of an inch. Weight I am down as well. That should make me happy. But still out of sorts for being late. Get into doc and she does her rundown. Need these meds, anything new to report. Have to get a referral done. I am not able to do this unless you get a referral. I would like these blood test done, please get an X-ray on this. Get them done quickly and I will do amen appointment call with you next week. I am making a referral to this doctor, I am referring you to this person. And I want to see you in four months. Make sure you get these tests done. The big thing was she would not fill out the paperwork for a disability tax credit. She filled out s few years ago for me to be able to be on disability, but would not fill out for a tax credit. Said I should go to my regular GP as he has all records and can fill out. So now I have to make another appointment with my GP who I am not not a happy person with. You see he is a doc that seems to think more of himself then his patients. You make an appointment at nine in morning. And he has all these patients waiting after me. He saunters in to the office with a coffee three hours later then his first appointment. This has happened so many times. Now I will go to him again. Have a whole day waisted just waiting for him to call me into his office. Then he will tell me that the tax credit has to be filled out by some other doctor. The run around begins again.

So now I drive home. Through that crappy traffic and construction. Get the blood test done, get the X-ray done. Now waiting time again. I have more doc appointments coming up now. More poking prodding. To figure out different things. That isn’t so bad that I have more appointments. The thing is I have to drive into surrey or New West or maybe even Vancouver to go to a dang appointment. Such a big waist of a day. Sometimes just to find out that this is not the problem but that is and should be at some other specialist not them.

So for being up early this morning and driving into the city. I did not get back here until 2:30. More time driving around going to other docs. Feeling more down about how this life is going. I never thought when I was young that I would be spending retirement getting sicker and there was nothing they could do about it but mask my systems so I feel better. I never thought I might not be able to take care of myself, which I am really trying to do. That the pay check I was getting working, but am not able to do anymore, has been cut down to a quarter of what I was making. When I turn 65 my disability cheque will be gone and I will be on Canada pension. This may be even less then what I am making now. In a year hubby is thinking of retiring. There goes more income out the window as he turns to Canada pension. My thoughts are on me, but you think of all the other people in this world who where baby boomers and now looking to retirement. Then all the loops we have to jump through and expenses we have now as older generation. Driving home and thinking of all this I am in my whining mood now.

So this is my whine for the day. I have no cheese and crackers to go with it. So now I sit on the couch. Play the waiting game and keep playing as long as I can. The crafting I will go now and turn on a mushy movie.

Not fun getting old.

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